Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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