I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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