I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
