Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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