it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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