I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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