I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
