Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
