Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
