if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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