We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
