peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
