you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
