I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
