GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
