ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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