Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
