it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
