ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
