so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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