Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
