i wish peter jackson would direct porn
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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