...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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