in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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