i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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