i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Too much gin, very little bucket
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
