Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
