Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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