Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to make out with him forever
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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