Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
