You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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