im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
