People in love make me want to vomit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
