we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Bring me that man meat
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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