Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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