You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
