I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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