Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And then the night went full on bisexual.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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