Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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