we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
