.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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