You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
