My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
