i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
