woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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