Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
