it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
