did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is Oprah even human
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
