remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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