It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
